that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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