Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
one two three fourrrrnication!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
