i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize