I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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