hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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