Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
