I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
