I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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