This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I need moral support for this bender
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
