You work out of a Hotel?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
