it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
