I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
