My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
