I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
