i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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