This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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