I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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