And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
