There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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