she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
