do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
