i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
