Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
