Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
