Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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