C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Randomize
