Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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