The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
