I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
