remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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