Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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