Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Randomize
