She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
