nutella sex= disaster
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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