You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
two words: eviction party
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
