Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
