carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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