everyone is single if you try hard enough
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
