The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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