You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
honey bunches of taint.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
