they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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