going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
