Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
