i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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