don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
