She is in my trunk
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
