I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
