NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
