Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
