I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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