If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
