Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
