PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
