turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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