We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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