I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
