I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He kissed a someone with a penis
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
