Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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